Iggy

Before I start on this blog I want to say something.

My cat, Iggy, died in 2017 during winter. I had known him all my life. The morning he died I was petting him crying. Overnight his soul had really left his body. I had told him I wanted to be there when he died. His body was hanging on to life. That morning my parents came up and got me and told me Iggy was still alive but was like a shell of what he once was. I begged them to let me say goodbye. They, with much arguing, let me. My mother took me down and showed me my beloved cat. He was cold and his eyes were glazed. I couldn’t believe this was the adorable playful Iggy I had grown to love more than many things. Tears had begun to run down my face. I felt hollow inside. Every now and then he would take a gasping breath. I asked my mother if she could leave me with him, and she left with a hug and kiss. I leaned my head down asking for forgiveness for ignoring him and pushing him away. My tears soaked his dirty fur. His heartbeat was faint and I told him it was okay. He could leave. He didn’t need to wait. I don’t know when he left but when I checked for his heartbeat again, it was gone. I ran upstairs telling my parents Iggy had just died. I broke that day.

I don’t think I recovered from that. My first friend had just died in my arms. I don’t think I’m still fully recovered. Recovering from something like that is like building a bridge. It takes a while and even after that the hole is built over. Even having Percy doesn’t quite fill the void that was made after my cat died.

My parents let me stay home from school and asked if I wanted to come to cremate Iggy. I shook my head. That wasn’t Iggy. That was his shell. I brought down one of my baby blankets to be burned with him. My parents let Sam sniff Iggy for him to realize Iggy was gone. Even Sam couldn’t find a good reason to wag his tail that day. I went on my email to tell my friends what happened. They made me laugh. My parents sent my brother to school and let me stay. I cried and cried. I felt as if my organs had been ripped from me. The pain wasn’t the problem, but the emptiness. I couldn’t imagine life without him. I regretted each time I pushed him away. Each time I had ignored his meows for food. Each time I got mad at him for going to the bathroom out of his litter box. I wanted to hear his annoying meows again to wake me up. It hit me then. I would never hear him. I would never see him. I would never pet him.

I’m writing this and I feel like crying. Dang it. Now I am.

I will love Iggy forever. A wise person once said “Grief is just love with no where to go.” I felt that. All the love I had for Iggy was trapped inside until it hurt. I loved my family so much closer. I wanted to be near them. Regretting not going with them to the store. What if that was the last time I saw them? I would regret and hate myself again. I hated myself for pushing Iggy away. What would it be like if I didn’t say “I love you” to my parents before they left and then they never returned? What if, What if, What if? I asked myself these questions all day. I wanted to refuse all food, wanting to just lay there, tears staining my sheets.

There are days where I still want to do that. Usually days where Iggy would be sunning himself, The sun glinting off his fur, his green eyes staring at you.

The thing about grief is that it feels as if you’re drowning in sorrow. I’m sure if my family knew I was writing this, they would’ve taken me to the hospitable. I don’t blame them. I promise you Imma and Abba, I no longer feel this way about anything. I was broken after my cat died, he really was like an older brother. I still miss him, but instead of focusing on the bad things I focus on the good memories of him. Like the memory of me picking him up so much he hissed at me. Ah… Good times.

I’m serious. If anyone starts feeling they way this blog made you feel, get help. Talk to your family. Get a therapist. These thoughts can turn dark and and lead to depression. Anyone if you see a person that is smiling but doesn’t look okay or has a history of being depressed and you see it again, talk to them. Help them. They may not always reach out. So please reach out for them. Talk to them, hang out with them. As I was writing this blog I was shocked I didn’t reach out.

Love,

Dreamywritercom

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PERCY UPDATE!!!

I know it’s been awhile since I’ve made a Percy update. But I’m making one now. Percy is doing very good here. He’s settled in and found a place within the pack. He and Sam are always playing. But there are a couple of yips here and there because of the difference in size. But Percy has had rough spots here and there. Like the time he snuck too much of Sam’s food. Helike had a pound of poop in him… poor baby. He gets into mischief like every other puppy. On his back half his puppy fur is changing into grown dog fur… oh well.😒 Sam is definately his role model and (thankfully) has taught him not to nip people but Percy still does it when he all riled up. I haven’t seen Sam so happy in a long time. He plays like a little puppy “again” Granted he was never little. LOL. Percy chewed off his bowtie….

 

I don’t always eat treats but when I do… WAIT! What am, I saying? I always eat treats!

Doghumor.net

Dreamywritercom

Pittsburg

As some of you might know last week there was a shooting at a shul in Pittsburg. 11 people were killed and some are still in critical condition. The oldest of the people killed was a 97 year old holocaust survivor. Which according to Google they were just 25 years old then. To survive hitler (he was a jerk, I would use a stronger more mean word but I’m not allowed to cuss. A story is a different thing.) and then die because of a freaking anti-semitic (doesn’t deserve to be capitalized.) is unimaginable. The youngest was 52, I think. It’s just terrible.  At my shul on Shabbos there were cops patrolling the neighborhood and outside. It’s wonderful that there are people who care. But then there are people who don’t.

For instance my mother and I went into a bookstore, and when we ere checking out this lady kept harassing us to buy a membership cad thingy. My mother kept telling her no. But then she brought up the holidays. Finally my mother told her we were jewish. She said this:

“Oh. I’m so sorry about Pittsburg.” Thanks for reminding us… 😡

Mother: “Thank you. It’s been a hard week.” Pro Mom!

Cashier: “Oh, for the Christians too!”

It’s not like I have anything against Christians or anything, my BTCFF (Best Traffic Cone Friend Forever) is one, and I know that doesn’t I know everything about Christianity, I mean maybe the cashier was trying to comfort us in some strange way. I don’t know.

I know it’s short and I haven’t written anything  yet, but I’m going to eat dinner soon. Thanks guys! (the image is Leafpool.)

Dreamywritercom

Destiny isn’t a path any cat follows blindly. It’s always a matter of choice, and sometimes the heart speaks loudest.”

Leafpool, Sign Of The Moon, pg. 108

 

Percy Update

Hi everyone!

I don’t have a ton of time, so yeah. I gotta go to bed soon. I just though I would update everyone on Percy!

 

In one week he will officially be eight weeks old. So on Sunday we’re going to go meet him. Today I went shopping for puppy stuff. I got him a kennel, puppy food, training treats (Zukes are awesome for this. Just a thing.), teething toy, toy, and his collar.

it’s Green and blue with like a zig zag pattern, and it has a blue with tiny white polka dots all over it bowtie. How awesome is that?????? As promised… Photo time!

 

 

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He’s the one staring at the bowl.

 

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He’s the one with the ears down.

 

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He’s the one staring tat the camera. Ain’t he adorable????

Let’s Talk

Welcome back to Let’s Talk!

*applause and cheering*

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Today’s Let’s Talk topic is…

Murder

I know I know, it’s a sad topic. But it’s getting real you guys. Did you know that just today a jewish 27-year old was murdered at her work in Israel? Just because she was jewish!

She was 27 and had a husband and a one and half year old baby boy! Let’s give her family and friends the love and empathy they need. But she was murdered just because of her religion. And she was 27. Not even in the middle of her life. This world is getting scarier and scarier. Women look under they’re cars at night because they’re afraid. African Americans when they get pulled over immediately think they’re going to be sent to jail. Our world is going down into a world I don’t want to live in. And then people wonder why other humans Commit Suicide! They’re probably scared. Around a month or two ago a college student was murdered when she decided to go on a run in her hometown, IN DAYLIGHT! Imagine if this was your family. Imagine the grief and the fear that you may be next.

That’s scary. It makes me want to curl in a ball and scream at the same time. Why is Earth going into a world of hate and death and fear? Is that our goal now? And here I am, in my room writing this feeling like I’m going to cry and hate everyone. Just like racism, this is only going to stop if we fight against it. My mother and Step-father told me the only way to fight it without more people getting hurt is fighting it is by being a light in the dark. How do you get rid of a fear of the dark? You fight it slowly. You turn on the light until the dark isn’t scary, and rather welcoming.  I don’t want to fight it slowly, by I also don’t want people to die for a fighting to stop people from dying by other humans hands.

Dreamywritercom

P.S. Sorry about the depressing quote, I just thought it fitted with this blog. I tried to find depressing turned happy quotes, but I couldn’t. Really sorry!!!!!

New News

HI!

So, I’m really excited to tell you guys this!

I’m love animals. So my parents decided to let me get a dog. We went looking for one and finally found one. My mom talked to the lady and the lady put him on hold just for us. we get weekly updates. And I’m gonna share the pictures! His name will be Percival The First. Percy for short!

Here you go!

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This is Percy, he’s a tricolored corgi. His daddy was a Blue merle. he only has two or three siblings that’s also a blue merle. He only has one other sibling that’s a tricolored. His sister.
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This is him attacking a blanket!
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This is him with his brown eyes! Ain’t he adorable??????
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This was after he just had opened his eyes. His eyes are brown now. SO CUTE!
That’s all the pictures. *cough cough* for now *cough* 😉

Aren’t you ready to die from the cuteness?

 

Dreamywritercom